5 Things Hawkeye May Have Been Reading at Shawarma
by jacedesbff
Summary: See title. Theories are that it was a guilty pleasure, a diversion, a trade publication, completely random or proof that hey, it could have been worse. It was actually a plate of food, but hey, it looks like a book! Rated for discussion of women's issues. Natasha figures in four out of the five.


**I've become a little obsessed with what Clint was reading at shawarma. So I wrote this in speculation. Each one represents a different theory separate from the others (as in, each one is in a separate universe). I have to say, it was fun coming up with the possibilities. I hope this inspires others to take up the challenge of figuring out what he was reading. :D (Or if anyone actually knows, I'd love to hear it!) [As a note, the timeline doesn't quite mesh on Take 1 based on when the author started writing. I'm taking some creative license!]**

**Take 1**: _Guilty Pleasure_

Clint picked up a lot of habits growing up in the circus. He was superstitious – he always used the same brand of leather cleaner on his bows, always packed his quiver in the same order. Other habits: he packed light; he didn't take to new people easily; he liked Nicholas Sparks.

That last one. The fortune teller, Madame Lisandra, ran a book club, and she had a massive thing for Nicholas Sparks. While Clint at first rolled his eyes, he really liked reading and he got a kick out of the old ladies in the club and you can only listen to so many conversations about _The Notebook _and _Message in a Bottle _before you have to read it for yourself. And, well, they became a guilty pleasure. He still rolled his eyes, he just did it as he read _The Rescue_.

Clint lived a very stressful life, and he made no apologies for using reading as his way to de-stress. Hey, it was better than drugs or alcohol, right? For instance, before Loki kidnapped his body, submarined his consciousness and made him shoot up his employer's helicarrier, Clint was in the middle of _The Lucky One _(he was avoiding the movie, which looked stupid – hey, liking Nicholas Sparks only went so far, except for the Mandy Moore movie – that one he wouldn't admit to liking...but he had.)

Clint kept a copy of his book stashed in a hidden bottom section of his quiver. He was sometimes called away on missions at very late notice and he didn't like having to track down another copy of whatever book he was on. And he didn't have to worry about a physical book the way he would an eReader.

When the Avengers got to the shawarma restaurant, Clint sat down with an exhausted thud, raising his leg to rest on Natasha's chair. He looked at her as she did so, and they had a moment to size up each others conditions. Subtly, Tasha reached down and picked up Clint's quiver, opened the hidden compartment and took out his book, handing it to him. Without a word, Clint started reading.

He idly wondered if Sparks would ever write a book about him and Natasha. Nah...

**~~~THE AVENGERS~~~**

**Take 2**: _A Diversion?_

As the Avengers walked towards shawarma, Clint tried to hide his limp, but of course Tasha saw it. She put her arm behind him and gave him the support he needed but never would have asked for.

"I thought I was pregnant."

Clint tripped, Natasha catching him before he hit the pavement.

"Clearly our child would have had mad skills in the coordination department," she said with a smile.

"You what? Why didn't you call me?" he asked, refusing to move forward as she pulled on him.

"Come on," she said, and he reluctantly followed. She continued. "It was after we saw each other in January – you know, the beach?"

She still had a smile in her voice whereas Clint was feeling a bit more thunderstruck.

"Clint? The beach?"

He nodded perfunctorily.

"I was a few days late in February. You know – I'm never late. I was in a remote area of the Russian wilderness tracking a lead and there weren't any drugstores nearby, so I spent four days not knowing if I was pregnant or not."

She paused and looked over at Clint, who raised an eyebrow and gestured wordlessly for her to keep going.

"I was on the train headed towards civilization when I got my period. Not pregnant!"

"And you decided to tell me this now?"

"I was still on a mission in Russia – radio silence, you know the drill. Then you were either under mind control, in the infirmary or shooting aliens."

He couldn't argue with that.

"But NOW?" he indicated the devastation around them as well as their own general state of disrepair.

"You thinking about how much you hurt?"

"What? NO!"

"Well, there you go."

"You... Good grief, Tasha!"

"Still not thinking about your knee."

"Right. So what did you think about while you thought you were pregnant?"

"After I stopped freaking out?"

"Well, yeah!"

"I was kind of surprised, first of all, given how careful we are, but hey, the only thing that's 100 percent effective is abstinence, and I don't want to stop having sex with you – I'm guessing you feel the same."

"Well, yeah."

"Then with nothing else to do besides chase shadows for four days, I got to thinking about what a child of ours would look like."

"Um, and?"

"I think he or she would be pretty good-looking."

Pause. "True."

"But really, could our lives fit a baby? I couldn't decide. I did know that I wouldn't get an abortion without talking to you first."

He stopped again. "Really?"

"Really. It's my body but it would be our baby. I wouldn't make that decision without you."

"I love you. Have I said that lately?"

"Amidst the mental muggings and bombing of New York? Why, no, you haven't."

"I do, and not just because of that."

She pulled him and they got moving again.

"So if you were pregnant..." he began.

"Yes?"

"I'm curious. What would that be like? I mean, what kind of things would you go through? Like your body? Would you suddenly crave pickles and peanut butter? Have crazy mood swings? Cut off people's heads? Well, more people's heads than usual."

"I can't say I know much about it, actually."

This time, Clint pulled her. She looked at the direction he was limping in. It was a Barnes and Nobles now sporting absolutely no storefront, it having been taken out by some alien weapon or another.

"Clint, do you really think you're going to be able to find anything in here?"

"The book I want is in the back."

"Right. You would know, wouldn't you?" He loved Barnes and Nobles, her best friend did.

At the rear of the shallow store was a section on child development. Clint grabbed a surprisingly pristine copy of _What to Expect When You're Expecting _and turned them around to head back out.

"Suddenly craving an ankle biter?" she asked with a wry smile. "Should I be worried?"

"No," he answered. "Especially not after I read this."

And read it he did, as soon as they sat down.

**~~~THE AVENGERS~~~**

**Take 3**: _Trade Publication_

Natasha looked at the magazine Clint pulled out of the lining of his quiver. With a knowing, somewhat sheepish glance, he showed her the cover – Archery magazine. Natasha tiredly nodded. It was a sign of how exhausted she was that he even needed to show her. As far as she knew, the National Archery Field Association was the only society anywhere in which Clint had ever enrolled using his own name. And their publication? He never threw them away. Ever. Okay, he didn't take any but the last few issues with him when he moved around, but still. She could always tell how long he'd been somewhere by how many copies of Archery magazine were stacked on the back of the toilet.

While she was too tired to grin, Natasha did smile internally. If Clint was reading Archery magazine, there was hope for him yet.

**~~~THE AVENGERS~~~**

**Take 4**: _Random_

Tony, of course, was the one to comment on Hawkeye's having reading material at dinner on the edge of the destruction of civilization.

"Whatcha readin', Katniss?"

Clint grimaced and brought up the book so that Iron Man could read the cover. It was a massive book and Clint didn't so much hold it up as he did prop it on the table for a second.

"_A History of Metallurgy _by Brenda Wyatt," Tony read. "Where'd you get that?"

"The street," answered Clint quietly, putting the book back on his lap and going back to reading.

"It was just lying there?"

"Yep."

"You have an interest in metallurgy?"

"Nope."

"So what, you thought you'd pick it up for some light reading?"

"Pretty much."

Tony paused, too tired to truly have fun with the bizarre conversation like he normally would. He did store the information away for a future day, though, because, really?

"Okay, then. Have fun with that."

The Avengers ate on.

**~~~THE AVENGERS~~~**

**Take 5**: _See? Crazy is Relative_

As Natasha sat by Clint's bedside waiting for him to wake up, she opened up her laptop and started doing some research on recovering from brainwashing. She had been through this herself, but it had been a few years, and she wanted to be current on what was out there. She was going to show him that he was not in this alone.

She found a couple of interesting articles which she saved and one that was just so out there she had to print it out. Knowing Clint's sense of humor as she did, Natasha knew that if given at the right time, this particular article would help him greatly.

As Hawkeye suited up following Captain America's call to action, Natasha slipped the article into the lining of his quiver. When all this was over, he was going to need a good laugh.

Which is why when they sat down to shawarma, Natasha said, "It could be worse," and Clint Barton had the unique experience of his partner handing him the following article: "Mud Men and Their Secret Conspiracy to Brainwash the American Masses".

Hey, it could always be worse. Just ask the Mud Men.

/fin

**A/N: Snaps to anyone who recognizes the book from Take 4. Also, I Googled it, but could not find the exact title (shocking!) If anyone knows what it is or if I got it right, let me know!**


End file.
